The 1st Wives Club
1st Wives Club
*
As you should know by now
#Societygirls are pretty much mad about
90's anything, 90's everything.
Mostly due to the fact that
we were birthed in the late 80's
and reigned childhood terror in the 90's....
ahhh good times.
So this explains why
we often create pieces
for this guide based on things produced during
that golden era of time
known as 1990-1999.
*
This is entry is not totally based on
revenge,
it's more so about
justice,
3 fabulous & tactful women,
and a cute club.
There may come a time (or 2)
in every #societygirls life
where she has to take the matters
of karma into her own hands.
Though Karma is the ultimate hitwoman
and the primary bestower of an issue for wrongdoers,
we may,
at some point in our lives,
take her matters into our own two palms
and turn tragedy into some form of triumph.
And who better to display this
then 3 #Societyicons
Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, and Diane Keaton
otherwise known as
Brenda, Elise, And Annie.
*
Now for those of you are out of the loop
......
sigh smh
........
Please direct yourself to the nearest
and watch the damn film immediately
for your own sake.
*
Even If you've never been privy to a viewing
you can still learn
a thing or two here
and then have it all click for you later
as you bless yourself with comedic relief
while watching.
Now allow us to press on
and unveil all of which we have learned
from
The 1st wives club
*
* There are 3 things
that have the ability to
bind women together forever
they are as follows:
* Friendship
* Love
* Jewelery
Be sure to toast to the 3
with a glass of
Dom
while taking a #Selfie,
well actually an
with the women whom
you'd like to be bound to
indefinitely.
*Say NO to collagen
"Your lips will look like
they got stuck in a pool drain."
* The 3 ages for women in Hollywood
according to Elise Elliot:
-Babe
-District Attorny
-Driving Miss. Daisy
*Tip for straight women visiting gay bars:
When overly aggressive lesbians
don't want to let up
call on your best friend
to double as your girlfriend
....
*Note:This also works in straight bars
&/or clubs when overly aggressive men refuse to take a hike.
*When dealing with unexpressed anger
take a squidgy toy to the head of your shrink.
*Pretty stationary counts
as we learned
when Annie recieved Cynthina's letter
after her passing and her Mother remarks
"And on such Pretty Stationary"
*When beginning a club you'll need
* A Common Cause
* A Base Of Operation
* Cute Business Cards
* Great escape routes and
strategies for your missions
*When storming into someones office
-ignore all pleas
made by defenseless secratary.
-Come equipped with an army of movers
-Take all the good stuff:
Most notably
* The Faberge Eggs
* Lempicka paintings
* Wingback chairs
* Japanese Secratary
* Tiffany Vase
your retort to any objections
about your actions must be
"It's the 90's Bill, Downsize."
*Always remember that
Uncle Carmine
would be honored to
take anyone out for you.
*Never show up to a Bar Mitzvah
looking like a gift.
*NOTE: Litte red dress and mink coat
are reserved for jealously missions.
*So lets say you've met a man
when using descript terms
to speak about him
you must quote Pheobe
(Elizabeth Berkely)
stating,
"I met a man.
He's an angel,
he's a God,
he's a DOCTOR."
*When doing venegful work
* gather every piece of information
you can get your hands on.
* Get the Lambo repoed
* Cultivate "break-in"
Mission ideas while working out
* And Host an auction at
selling off
ALL things
you've taken back.
*If you plan to marry for $
You're gonna need
Gunilla Garson Goldberg's blueprint.
Gonilla Garson Goldberg =
1st x 2nd x 3rd x 4th wife
which = Very comfortable surroundings
*Tips to take from Gonilla:
-Host Super Social Luncheons
- Remember
All You Need To Take Your Place
In #Society Is:
* a few words of advice
* a guiding hand
* Correct florist
* an utterly ideal chef
* And A decorator of death
"Your house is your calling card.
It has to be perfected,
photographed, published"
- G.G. Goldberg
-Do your dirty work
from the back seat
of a #Vintage Rolls whilst wearing a mink.
OR
Do your dirty work
from the back of a 90's limo
with a mobile phone, laptop,
and a driver by the name of Johnny.
* To close it all out:
Here are the key things one must remember
If they remember nothing else
that pertains to the lessons
taken away from the
1st Wives Club
No. 01: Don't get mad, get everything.
No. 02: Good group of people to have in your arsenal
*a high ranking #society matron
*a low ranking interior decorator
*an uncle in the mob
*an office downtown,
in a building you or one of your friends own.
No.03: Vocabulary words
#SocialClimber On The Rise = Self Explanatory
Sublime x Essential x Oxygen = terms used to describe the greatness of something
No.04: Dropping Jackie O.'s name
can sale a $40,000 piece of furniture
No.05: Hijack your ex husbands business
gain great leverage
and utilize black mail if neccessary.
*
Also a couple extra tid bits
that you should totally get into
The Pop Art begininng of the movie
and
The Marvelous Soundtrack
Most notably
'Wives & Lovers' - By Dionne Warwick
This without doubt
is a record
that belongs on
The Ultimate #Societygirl's Soundtrack To Life.
*
Which 1st wife do you identify with most and why
let us know all about it
below.
As usual you can always find us on IG
and also do come &
there's all types of
to be had there
Ciao!
xoxo,
Darling Bonnie & Co.
